1. I have no idea whether I'll even be able to think of 30 things to fill up this space. I have strong opinions of a variety of matters, but 30...that's a lot of space to fill. This could get really boring. Numbers 27 and 28 could simply be statements such as, "I mowed my yard yesterday. I think pizza is neat." Let's hope it doesn't come to that. I'm going to go ahead and count this as an official #1, too. Because I can.
2. First and foremost on my list of ultimate pet peeves right now is Jersey Shore. While I hate to put it so close to the top because I hate that my blood boils so much for them (I should "nothing" them.), it is the first thing I thought of. Jersey Shore is a complete waste of resources, time, energy, money, and brainpower (what little there is there.) Please I beg of you...do not sit in front of your tv and watch this crap. They have no purpose but to be utterly obnoxious. They are obnoxious!! They have no point, no talent, no reason for you to watch them. They benefit...NOBODY! Go live your own life. Do not sit there and watch them "live" theirs. Read a book. That's said...moving on.
3. My entire life is based on the weather. The meals I plan, the clothes I wear, the activities I plan is all based on www.weather.com's ten day planner. And I'm not just talking about, "ooo we shouldn't plan the picnic, they're predicting 10 inches of snow." I mean we positively cannot have stew when the temp is above 70 degrees. We cannot have BLT's and chips if the temp is under 60 degrees. If it's rainy, or if it's cool enough for the windows to be open, I'm in the mood, if not....I'll just read for a while. I'm seasonal to the point of ridiculousness.
4. They won't all be that long. I spout off some short ones just to move this thing along. I like rice.
5. I like......birds.
6. Crap I'm at six and this is getting difficult already. My entire life cannot possibly be summed up in my feelings for Jersey Shore and the weather channel. I'm going to need to dig deeper here.
Ok. I love sports but I cannot talk about sports. If you come up and rattle off a bunch of player names/stats/coaches/sponsors/strategies, I will sit there and smile and put my best, "yea I know what you mean" act on. However. I just watch the game brainlessly. I like the game for the game. I cannot talk the game. Forcing me to do so is just going to lead to awkwardness.
7. Speaking of awkward. I'm awkward. Extremely socially awkward. I like to write because I can edit my thoughts and make sure I'm okay with the permanent product. I can't edit my speaking voice or what flies out of my mouth and that really annoys me. If I have known you for over 5 years, most likely I am comfortable speaking with you...if not....well I try to think of it as a challenge. Talk to this person for 5 minutes without flubbing or sharing too much information about odd subjects in an attempt to make it seem like you are just soooo super comfortable right now.
8. I have to eat something sweet after each meal. The meal does not end until chocolate is ingested.
9. I hate jazz music.
10. I could spend my entire Sunday listening to NPR. The whole day. Every single show.
11. I want to be such a good cook that Payton's future wife will feel like she has impossibly big shoes to fill.
12. The best thing that happened to me today was in the parking lot of the grocery store. I simply dropped my hand to my side and found 5 little fingers waiting to hold my first finger. I love that about being a mom. It's such an everyday thing, but just dropping my hand down to find another hand waiting just makes my day.
13. I was a horrible teenager and yes, I have apologized to my parents for that.
14. I don't think grown people should use 8th grade terms to describe other people. If you are a grown woman, do not call another grown woman a slut or b.... There are infinitely better words in this language. Pick something else.
15. And further more. Don't swear at work, especially the f-bomb.
16. This is a tidbit from the IV nurse at work. If you can't smell it, it's because you smell like it. That made me insanely paranoid for a good 48 hours. "oh man...what if I stink, I can't smell me...what if I stink!!....What do I smell like? OH NOOOOO."
17. I really do believe that life begins at conception and ends at natural death and we should not interfere in that for any reason. I believe in life. Even when it's hard. I'm disgusted by evil men, too. But we have to give a person the chance to turn themselves around and become good. A conversion can happen at any time and that needs to be respected. (And yes, sometimes I think it SUCKS to believe that, but still.)
18. I believe in God but I struggle with religion. I love being a Catholic, but I believe ALL people should have the right to marry whomever their heart loves. This is a major struggle for me.
19. This is getting a little too serious. I think farts are funny. Especially when they happen at church. Payton thinks they're funny, too, but I have to be a mom and look at him disapprovingly when he giggles at someone else's...toot.
20. I have skinny-dipped. I have gone down the red and yellow slide bare. The yellow slide freakin' hurt.
21. I talk to myself out loud.
22. I often drink my morning coffee cold. I like it that way in the summer, but if the temp is under 65 and the windows are open...it has to be hot. With the weather thing again....
23. I don't make sense. I'll use Tim's toothbrush because it's upstairs and I don't want to go downstairs, but when I do go downstairs, I'll get on the treadmill and run 3 miles. So....why not take a few extra steps before the 3 mile run to use my own damn toothbrush? I don't know. Can't explain it.
24. My favorite number is 4 and like the weather, certain things are ruled by the number. Cookies: four at a time. If I want more...I'll have to accept eating a total of 8. Kisses: must have four. If the counting gets off and Tim kisses me 5 times, he's got to put up 3 more. Thankfully he's accepted that weirdness. It's not OCD. It's not debilitating if whatever "it" is isn't a multiple of 4, but it'd just prefer it if "it" were. I have 3 children....just saying.
25. Almost there. I have the best family EVER. My mom and dad and sister had a lot to put up with when I was younger. (I know that because I now have Maddie and have only begun my mountain of paybacks.) I also have the best in-law family EVER. There are incredible people in my life.
26. I believe my parents' generation had the absolute best childhood. They were outside. My mom grew up on an Iowa farm and my dad went hunting in the mountains of Colorado. I still remember a few Iowa evenings on the farm. The adults were outside in lawn chairs and my uncles and cousins were playing baseball. That's what you did in the evening on the farm. I want that back.
27. Life is wonderful, but it goes fast. Don't waste it. Nobody ever uttered, "I wish I'd spent more time playing video games" as their dying breath. Go outside and be humbled by the world. Isn't that an inspiring comment? I really believe it and try to live it, but after I'm done here I'm going to watch my DVR episode of "I didn't know I was pregnant." Tonight our clueless mommy-to-be gives birth on a boat!
28. The other day when my water heater went out I had to take a cold shower. I thought to myself, "This isn't so bad. People face way worse every single day. I am a strong woman and this is nothing. Get in, shower up, and get to work. Offer your pain up, Kelly. That's what you're supposed to do so offer it up. Okay....offering it up here we go." Sorry God. My offering of strength to you was the ninniest of ninny dances as I spazed my way through that shower. I offered you a laugh. How about that?
29. Wow. Only two more to go. Crap. They're the last two so they're supposed to be the most meaningful and thought-provoking ones yet. I think pizza is neat. That's all I have left! No, I can do better. I love to write if you couldn't tell. I love putting words together and seeing how they play from my head to the page. It's just fun.
30. Finally. My last thought. I am a very lucky girl.
I am glad you believe in life and that you love to write. I am not glad that I never see you anymore because I remember also one night when I wouldn't have made it without you at work. keep up the good work-in everything!
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