Last day in my 20's.

So...here it is.  My last day being in my twenties.  I would love to say that turning 30 is no big deal to me, but that really isn't true.  I do not want to be 30. 
Twenty-somethings are cute and bubbly.  We can get away with goofy hair and funky clothes. 
I'm not saying that starting tomorrow I'm going to wear elastic pants and mumu's, but when you hit your 30's, there is a bit more class expected of you. 
When your 30....you are officially an adult.

A grown up.

I've been dreading this number for a while.

Why?

The summer I turned 20 was actually the start of a horrible downward spiral.  I had just said goodbye to Benedictine College, the most wonderful and supportive school....EVER.  I had screwed things up with my best friend over a stupid guy who was going to continue to jerk me around for the next year before hideously breaking my heart.  We lost Ruby that year....  I moved to K-State and had Rebecca as my roommate.  She did weird things in her bed.  She had strange hair.  I was the most lonely that I had ever been in my whole life. 
Those first couple years were awful.  I used to sit on my front porch of my apartment that Delbert "managed" (as in he always managed to use his keys to come in unexpectedly wearing his short shorts, but never managed to fix the gaping hole in the ceiling above my toilet), and wish and pray that God would just give me a hint of what my life was going to be.  Was I always going to be alone?  Couldn't you please just show me what's going to happen to me?  Is it always going to be like this? 

It wasn't. 

I met Tim which started my life in an entirely different direction.  But at least I had direction finally.  The rest of my 20's has been spent putting myself back on track which has been really hard work.... I'm still working on that....

Wow.  So why am I so sad to leave my 20's? 

It wasn't all bad...there were some ridiculously fun times. 

Summers at the pool.
The fax machine and the high dive.  (snicker)
My 21st birthday, from what I remember of it.
K-State football games.
Meeting my husband.
Meeting an amazing brand-new family.
Meeting my children.
Figuring out a career.

I guess I just associate my 20's with being care-free even though most of it hasn't been that way.  A 20-year-old has the world in front of them with a million different directions they could go in.  I have to keep remembering that I had that.  I had the time when I could have done anything.  I could have gone in a million different directions.  I sat on the porch and begged God to show me something that looks like what I have now. 

I have it now.

And I'm going to be 30.

30 is going to be enjoying it.

Enjoying my husband and children.
Enjoying my family.
Enjoying nursing (on the good nights at least)
Enjoying my hobbies.

Okay then.  Screw the 20's.  I'M GOING TO BE 30!