Saturday, February 26, 2011

Oh Friday morning...why must you be so cruel.

I rolled out of bed feeling pretty refreshed and ready for the day. 
My kids were playing nicely for once, but it was time to start getting ready to take Payton to school. 

That's where relaxing and calm ended.  Abruptly.

That was when I realized:
1.  We have no cereal.
2.  I have to go into the school to pay latchkey.

Normally, I would just worry about Payton being socially acceptable to look at since he's the only one going in the school, but now we all had to look nice. 

Okay.  No biggy.  Payton's getting ready nicely, so I'll just focus on the girls.  I throw Maddie on the changing table to get her dressed.  Ella can pretty much dress herself.  This is going to be okay. 

Maddie's diaper exploded.  There are little urine soaked crystals all over her, and in her tantrum over having one fall on her hand she threw her legs up and a bunch of them went into her hair. 

Okay we can still deal with this.  Positive reinforcement for Ella for getting dressed and throw Maddie in the tub.  Of course I had no time to bleach the tub and if I don't bleach the tub, Maddie will end up with an abscess, so screaming Maddie standing in the tub and the bath is done.  Now Ella's mad because her pants won't button. 
Two screaming kids.
Get them both settled and dressed and rushed into the kitchen....crap.  No cereal. 
Okay, no biggy.  Cinnamon toast.
Get em' out and the kids are happy.
Brush Maddie's hair and we're running a little late, but not too bad.  I'm in pajamas.  Crap.
Rush off to get dressed, so no direct supervision and they start giggling.  Whatever.
Payton's glasses, hearing aids, coat, and hat and he's ready to go. 
"Girls come on, you can finish eating your toast when we get back"
Ella refuses to leave the table so I do the mommy fake-out.  "Okay fine, Ella.  See you later."
Shove Payton and Maddie out to the car.
Doors frozen shut.
Alright everybody in the driver's side and climb over the seats.  Launching Maddie over the seats and into the chair.  Straining to get her buckled into the car seat.  Coats and hats and car seats don't mash well.
Ella's now screaming at the front door and kicking the metal bottom. 
I'm sure the neighbors are enjoying this. 
Run in to yell at Ella and get her into a coat.  Carry her to the car and accidentally whack her head on the DVD player as I'm launching her to the backseat.  Of course. 
Screaming.  Screaming.  Screaming.
Still have to go in to pay latchkey so we're now late.
Get to the school and pull into a parking space and whip out the checkbook.
No pen.
So now nobody but Payton is going in the school which infuriates the girls....AGAIN.
Walk Payton to the door and kiss him goodbye.
Back to the car and back to the house.
Back to the kitchen and back to my coffee.
Luckily, that crappy morning had NOWHERE to go but up. 
Mental note to Kelly:  "Remember this moment when you THINK you want another baby.  Remember Remember Remember."

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Into the Snow: Round 2

The last time we attempted snow it didn't go well.  It was 45 mintues of getting dressed, 7 minutes of enjoying, and another 45 mintues of going in the house, undressing, rewarming, and pouting because I actually had the gall to have them out in the elements.  Bad momma. 
So a couple weeks later we try again, only this time on the warming trend of the snowstorm.  It was actually in the 50's so the weather was perfect AND the snow was perfect.  Maddie has been asking all winter for the it was time that she got it.
It really only took about 15 mintues to roll him up and put him together.  The rest of the time the kids just packed snow on him to make him bigger and more harmoniously proportioned. 

Don't mess with her snowman.  She means business.
What a beautiful snowman!!
A jolly happy fellow!
Maddie finally has her snowman.

So we played and packed snow for an hour or so, and then they played in the sand/snow box.  After that was lunch and naps.  During that time of course, the temp kept going up, and by the time Maddie got up from her nap, her snowman's face had already fallen off. 
"Momma what happen to Snowman?!"
"Well baby, he's melting because it's warm outside."
"Oh.  Will he get better?"
"ehem.  Well.  No.  Actually he'll probably get quite worse."
Luckily I have pictures of him for her that have gotten her through these tough times of watching him melt in a slow and painful process right outside the kitchen window.  Every meal she has to see him mutate down to a blob of grassy mess.  Sorry Mad.  It was fun the 30 minutes it lasted. 

Monday, February 7, 2011


The morning starts at 6:30 am with one of my children getting up to go to the bathroom, which wakes up at least one other child.  I scramble out of bed hoping to reach the two awake ones to shuffle them somewhere else before they wake the third child.  After the two awake ones are confined to a room and playing nicely, I climb back into bed...not to sleep...but to lay there and be a  listening referee for the next door children.  Inevitably, I have to get up within 15 minutes to shut down whatever fighting or misbehavior is going on.  By now the third child is awake, so the time between bed and referring is now down to 2-3 minutes.  Bed is now completely pointless.  Hope is abandoned. 
So now we start in on the fighting round.  We fight over getting dressed, outfits, the brushing of teeth, breakfast choices, and shoes.  It is now 8:30 and at least one child has gone to time out and at least one other child has professed their extreme dislike of me.  I ship one to school and begin the chores lightning round.  I gather laundry from all corners of the house.  I have 3 kids and two hampers, but I always have to look at least 20 different places to thoroughly gather all the laundry...especially all the socks.  So after that is all done comes the lunch dance and the nap time round.  In bed, out of bed, in bed, out of bed, in bed, out of bed....etc.  After a brief nap (the children, not me) it's time to get the third from school and start the evening round.  Homework homework, and start dinner.  During this period at least 2 will go to time out for throwing a total of 2 times.  The third will draw on something inappropriate....or draw something inappropriate on something appropriate.  Either way, dinner will be a hot mess of distractions.  Dinner will commence, but dinner conversation will be impossible because of the yelling, laughing, giggling, squirming, and spilling.  Baths.  Stories.  Fighting.  Bed.  Out of bed.  Water.  Bed again.  Jumping.  Threatening.  Bed.  And finally, Sleep. 
Now comes the fun part.  I kick my feet up and relax for 2 hours and somehow the entire days slips away.  I get up to resign to sleep and do one last child check before bed.  They're beautiful.  They're so beautiful it makes me want to snuggle up to each one, hold them, listen to their hearts beating and lungs breathing, and cry.  They're fuzzy and warm.  They smell of shampoo and Johnson's pink baby lotion.  They have cute jammies on in their cute beds in their cute rooms.  Their eye's are closed and muscles relaxed.  And as I close the door to their bedrooms, I think to myself, "I really think I want another baby."  WHAT IS THAT!?